confession

Di bawah ini adalah beberapa hal yang perlu saya beritahu kepada kalian—hal-hal di bawah ini mungkin cukup mengagetkan.

1. I cant possibly draw with my own style = still immitating

If you see my drawing note book, you cant find ‘me’. I cant draw.

2. I just got my period in November 2008 (or was it December?) when I was already in the ninth grader

It was at Safira Ramadhani’s house, and I really don’t know what to do. I still feel like that lately. Smita calls me an amateur.

3. I don’t get 100 in english subject, like, never

Exactly.

4. I screw up in vocabulary and words-combinating

That’s why I never get 100, except I use mobile dictionary

5. I mess up in drawing hands, always

It always looks way more like bananas or wafer or pocky stick actually. Yeah at least one more plus-score.

6. I cant say ‘water’ properly. It always sounds like ‘war’

I tried............but I cant. I searched in my mobile dictionary and how to pronounce it the right way but still I don’t like the accent it has. Speaking about pronouncing ‘water’, try it yourself!

7. I listen to Uffie

Right, shes my idol actually. Shes talented!

8. Im uncommunicative

If you don’t talk with me, I wont talk to you, except you are my close-friend. Even if I talk, just only like three or five words

9. I don’t laugh at home, ever (except while im watching something stupid, and it’s only like a bit lipside smile)

That’s because at home is just only me, bude, and pade (I live in their house since it’s near Labschool Kebayoran). Siblings are at home.

10. I can easily adore / like someone

Don’t mess with me.

11. I feel numb everytime someone talk about my mom with me

I cried very much when it was months after her death, but now, don’t eve try to. My happy face will easily ease and then turn into numbness.

12. Sometimes I can be reckless

If you don’t know what I really mean, it’s called ‘obsessed’. I dont even know why and I tried to stop. Actually, it starts since several months after mom’s death. I don’t mean that this is her fault, but if you ever watched sisterhood of the traveling pants, it’s like bridget’s characteristic. And I realized when I watched it. What a lesson-worthy movie!

13. I look at everyone at their minus-things first sometimes

Don’t even try to. Im already trying to, what, reduce?

14. Im very afraid of the dark, and I mean it

Everytime the electricity in the house goes out, my heart beats like ten times stronger and five times more intense, and I feel like its very hard to breathe and I just do it hardly. But I wont run, I just, like, grope the walls and trying to imagine the paths to the dinner table. But still, my heart goes like that.

15. One more about my so-called ability, I cant use adobe photoshop, or applications alike

I don’t wanna talk about it—I just cant and I hate talking about it. I want to be able, but still, I cant.

16. Im expressionless

If you scare me, my face will (at maximum meter of surprisedness) stay still, but my eyes will get wider and my lips will only have their lipsides go down (I don’t know what the name is). You can never know that im surprised. If you tell me something that you think will make my face turn to what-the-hell-does that-come-from-was-that-even-true-? Expression, you are absolutely mistaken, Young Miss. If your other friends’ faces do, mine wont. It will just react with my digestion system. You kow what I mean? I will (what is that?) EEK. Yeah hahahahaha that is true. What a shame.

17. I don’t really follow trends, if you know what I mean

If you like to listen to something like Katy Perry or the-band-who-has-Hey-There-Delilah, I’d rather listen to Norah Jones all day long.

18. Im not talented in any kind of sport

yepyepyepppp

19. I also am not talented enough to be combinated with any musical instrument

yepyepyeppp

20. If I screw up verbally, Im kinda good in writing something

How fair God is! I still can express and tell somebody what I think or chitchat with someone, thanks to yahoo and msn messenger. Amen.

21. Im perfectionist

When I was 5 or something, I filled the TTS in Bobo magazine (so damn hot the magazine was) and finished it. Then I found out that there was an answer that must be ‘tenis’ but I messed up and wrote it ‘tennis’. I filled it with a pen so I cant erase it. Then my dad came and changed the second n into i, and the i into s. but I didn’t like it at all, I cried very loudly. Ugh I still feel eww-ed about that. Well, that’s a simple example of the perfectionist me, huh?

Maybe that is all I’ve got to realize lately.

Tell me your own!